Just a grievance

They ask me what the hell
I want from the world,
As though I hold it hostage
In the same way it arrests me
I want a chance at feeling strong,

A chance at being grown,
A chance at not avoiding darkened roads
That should be mine as well as theirs
I want to be invisible
So I can walk alone at night


When I was your age

He’s always checking the time before bed
Like he doesn’t have years to sleep

He points to the bottle and asks,
Is this the same as mine?
And it hurts
It hurts that he knows it is

It brings you to your mother, that moment
You wished wouldn’t stay with him
And he says, “I pushed the knife away”
And you ask yourself, is that the same?

And it hurts
It hurts that you know it is
And now you’re checking the time before bed
Like you haven’t had years to sleep


The first time you woke me
Was the last step out of water
Ice around me, soothing, numbing
Your distance warm as skin
Familiar, lying

Another time
Was rushing blood and limbs
Your presence forcing air inside me
Heavy, slowing, painfully reminding

The last, I fought you
Pushed away your rescue
Threw myself into the river
Let me die for once

I wish you well

You’re the line that lures me back
To tossing copper, spilling silver
Hoping to hear an echo back,
Hoping to summon two reflections

Sifting gold between my fingers
Counting reasons why you matter
Why you shouldn’t, why you should
Have a place in my night and day dreams