Different

I’m awake and older
Feeling so much younger than
Four years of changing

And I’m steady
More secure than sanity
Has any right to make me

And I’m happy
Happy for the baby
So alone and breaking

When my eyes would scare me
And my hands were self-inflicting

Four years older
Starting over with a mind
That isn’t screaming

When I’m sleeping
I don’t beg the night to take me

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Where am I going

I’m not stalling
I’m not stalling
But everyone’s moving so fast
Around me

And I just want to pace myself
Without pacing
Back and forth
Back and forth